Self-sabotage means getting in your way, even when you want good things to happen. It can show up as procrastination, fear of success, or pushing people away. Many people do not know they are doing it. They just feel stuck, frustrated, or confused.
Self-sabotage often starts from past hurt. If you grew up feeling unsafe, unloved, or judged, your mind may try to protect you—even now. It might tell you not to try, so you don’t fail. Or not to get close to others, so you don’t get hurt.
These habits may have helped you survive before. But now, they stop you from growing.
Therapy can help. In therapy, you can explore where your self-sabotage comes from. You can learn to notice your patterns, understand your triggers, and work with the part of you that is afraid. Over time, you can build trust in yourself and feel safe enough to move forward.
How Psychotherapy Helps You Overcome Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage can be confusing and painful. You may want to do well, but something inside holds you back. Psychotherapy offers tools to understand and change these patterns.
1. Building Awareness
The first step in therapy is learning to notice when you self-sabotage. Your therapist may ask:
- What are you doing?
- What are you feeling?
- What are you avoiding?
Once you become aware of your habits, you can start to understand them better. You may begin to see how old thoughts or fears are affecting your present choices.
2. Exploring the Root Cause
Many people self-sabotage because of past pain or trauma. A therapist will help you explore where these patterns began. This might include:
- Childhood experiences
- Family relationships
- Times when you felt unsafe, judged, or not good enough
Understanding where these beliefs came from can help you feel more compassion for yourself.
3. Working with Inner Parts
Some therapy methods, like parts work or inner child healing, help you talk to the part of you that is scared. You may learn to say:
- “Thank you for trying to protect me.”
- “I’m safe now. I don’t need to hide.”
This builds trust inside you. You learn how to care for yourself instead of shutting down.
4. Creating New Habits
Therapists also help you practice new behaviors. This might include:
- Setting small, clear goals
- Learning how to stay calm when you feel fear
- Replacing negative thoughts with kinder ones
Over time, these new habits become stronger than the old ones.
5. Learning Self-Compassion
Therapy teaches you how to be kind to yourself, even when you make mistakes. Self-compassion helps you try again without shame. It gives you the courage to keep going.
You are not broken. Self-sabotage is a sign that part of you is trying to stay safe. In therapy, you can heal this part and build a new path forward. You do not need to stay stuck. With support, you can change these patterns and live a fuller, freer life. Book your first consultation today with one of our expert psychotherapists: https://mentalhealthandfreedom.janeapp.com/#/list
